These aspects are too frequently trivialized, removed and neglected. On the contrary, pressures and expectations grow around women, as previously mentioned. Starting with those of the partner, not always attentive or adequately informed about the hormonal changes of the new mother and those of the relatives who rarely respect the couple's privacy. Everyone imagines her in seventh heaven and presses her about breastfeeding.
The woman, on the other hand, feels elsewhere. He will not tolerate all the people around him. Maybe he rationally understands his enthusiasm but fails to share his mood. And this of course scares her. What's wrong? Why can't I be happy?
The woman, in this phase, needs tranquility and rest. He needs to sleep. To spontaneously learn to latch the baby to the breast. To recognize and synchronize with him little by little. It needs time and space for itself. It needs practical support and containment, in order to recover strength from a physical point of view and energy from a mental one.
In this phase, the uncertainties and psychological and emotional anxieties of a mother who for the first time find herself to be such and is not always able to fully trust her natural instinct as a mother. A mother who inevitably wonders: "I'll be up to it".
The advances in medicine and science on the other hand today guarantee pregnancies and births that are often "technically" safer. But at the same time they risk rusting the intrinsic and natural skills that every woman, as such, has always spontaneously kept within herself. .
In short, the first few days after childbirth are extremely complex. They represent an articulated process of adjustment in which to forge and establish new balances. Those of the woman as such and as a mother. Those of the mother and father, individually and in pairs, with the child and the child with them. Those inside the couple itself, both as parents and as companions and lovers.
Not only. It is paradoxically precisely in this delicate phase that the new mother prepares for the so-called milk whipping - and therefore for the subsequent breastfeeding - and together with the return home, where very often she will feel even more alone and disoriented.
In many European countries, women - while returning home and thus being able to enjoy the tranquility and warmth of their home and family environment - can count on the continuous support of a health system that is attentive and attentive to the needs of each puerpera. In fact, a hospital "obstetrician" will stay by her side, going daily to her home, assisting her both for breastfeeding and for the care of the newborn and for all the checks related to her own personal physical recovery.
In Italy, unfortunately, the woman discharged from the hospital is in fact abandoned to herself, her anxieties, her fears ... and her personal economic possibilities (ie the possible capacity to privately cope with the shortcomings of the public system) There are of course gynecologists and pediatricians to refer to for routine visits and advice, but the daily, empathic and emotional support - as well as technical - that the puerpera feels the need for in this phase remains in the prevalence of cases without response.
Obviously these words are not intended to "scare" couples who are about to experience the birth of a child firsthand; nor do we want to remove poetry and what always remains the most magical event of our existence. . The principle of everything and therefore, as such, also its deepest meaning.
However, at the same time it is essential to try to dispel some false myths and think about ancient taboos, bringing pregnancy and motherhood back to their concrete dimension, which is not that of fiction, and above all complete, that is, which does not end at the moment of childbirth. . It seems useful to openly address a topic that still frightens many today and too often ends up being omitted and ignored, thus generating further misunderstandings and traumas. A difficult topic on which many mothers - and many couples - are not adequately prepared, resulting then profoundly destabilized. to the showdown.
On the other hand, as always, it is precisely on awareness that the ability to act and react in the most correct way, in the face of the most delicate situations, is based. it happened, the belly has disappeared, almost everyone - friends, relatives and often operators - leave while the couple remains, and with them, in fact, a child and a "real" life.
Other articles on "Postpartum and postpartum difficulties"
- pregnancy and puerperium first part
- third part pregnancy and puerperium
- pregnancy and puerperium fourth part
- pregnancy and puerperium fifth part
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